Riva Pomerantz
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Spoiler? 02/08/2010
4 Comments
 
I was just buckling down to work this morning when I saw it. Y'know--IT. The flamboyant pink and white bag that housed the work of art my ten-year-old daughter has been working on for the past three weeks; the piece-de-resistance of her book report. She put her heart and soul into her diarama and now the poor project, due today, languished on the kitchen floor where she'd apparently forgotten it in all the morning rush. Bummer.

Have I mentioned in earlier posts that we are officially carless? Having come from two cars in our former life in the United States, adjusting to live sans auto was quite a change, I admit. But taxis and buses really aren't bad and a girl could get used to being chauffered, you know. But it does make you think twice before you run an errand, and definitely in the case of El Bag. Should I just pretend I didn't see it? I thought. Is this a good lesson in taking responsibility? Or in accepting life's disappointments?

I pictured my daughter, devastated to discover that she had forgotten her project at home. All the girls would be displaying theirs, and only she would have to say, "I forgot mine at home..." Ouch. And she's a really responsible kid, too; it's not like this is de rigeur for her. (Apparently I am feeling very French tonight!)

So....cut to the meat already, Riva. Stop keeping us in suspense! What did you do already????!!! I know, I know. Okay, here's the deal: After some deliberation, I sent the project over to school in a taxi, paid 13 shekels (roughly $4) for the driver to deliver it to the security guard who would get it to the Office who would get it to my daughter. Whew!

And after the project had exited the house, I was engulfed by the clamor of two voices within. One said: "You good mommy, you! She'll be so thrilled!" and the other one yelled, "You're spoiling the kid! This is what she's going to expect next time too!"

Which voice do you think I should listen to?
 


Comments

Debbie
02/08/2010 21:19

The first one, for sure! You would have felt horrible when she came home crying at the end of the day. I don't know your daughter, but I think she could feel guilty enough to try very hard not to let something like this happen again. She must have felt good that you did it of your own initiative without her phoning you. (You didn't actually say if it got to her on time, or at all.)

BTW, I very much enjoy all your stories in the Mishpacha. I don't analyze them as learning lessons, as some people seem to do (seen in Letters to the Editor once in a while, I think). I just enjoy them as the stories that they are!

Reply
THE SIS
03/22/2010 19:45

I am so proud of you, Riva!!! If I had 'super mommy' stickers, I would send one to you :)

It can be really devastating and embarrassing to not have your project with you, and if she put all that work in it, she deserves to have it with her - don't worry, knowing that her Mommy's got her back is more important than being taught not to forget things (hm hm, like forgetting to send signed copies of your book to your sister... hem hem, just saying).

A daughter should always know that her mommy is there for her. Thanks for taking such good care of my niece :)

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paula levin
04/14/2010 10:07

you did the right thing and your sister is right. its much more nb in life to know your mommy's there for you. what you could have done to instill responsibility is ask that she contribute some allowance/babysitting money to the cost of the taxi fare? that also teaches responsibility in afar less punitive way

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Shaindy
05/12/2010 06:27

You know, I really appreciate this sort of deliberation. I think sometimes we mommies like to feel good inside that we’ve gone out of our way to make our kiddies happy and yes it kinda feels good to get their approval too. Yet oft times, we have to go above our own feelings of the ‘here and now’ to help our children grow! It’s probably hurtful in the present, but hey don’t we know it; it’s much more painful to administer the proverbial potsch than to receive it. It is a balancing act, much tefilla and s’’d is needed and whilst I don’t know what the best solution is in this scenario, I guess we know our kids best and deep down G-d gives us a certain feeling to know how to act/react. This is actually a thought from michtav eliyahu; on his essay on bechira, he explains that it’s a chessed from HaShem that whenever a situation presents itself and we don’t’ know which direction to take, a little voice deep inside tells us the right way to go. If we listen carefully, we can hear it all the time.

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    About Riva Pomerantz

    I'm a freelance writer, widely published in Mishpacha Magazine, www.aish.com, amongst others. You can buy my books, Green Fences, Breaking Point, and Breaking Free, at www.targum.com. My serialized story, Charades, is really heating up!

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