Wealthy vs. Rich 06/28/2009
 

I have long observed an interesting phenomenon which my Shabbos guests, who are such wonderfully giving people, further drove home for me yesterday. I have seen fantastically wealthy people who dole out dollar-store gifts with all the joy of suffering a root canal. And then there are those people with very little money in the bank who are just so generous, they're falling all over themselves giving to others.

When Chazal (our Sages) say, "Aizehu ashir, hasameach b'chelko", "Who is wealthy? The one who is satisfied with his portion", they were touching on this intriguing phenomenon. Because money is a mindset. You can have a lot of it and be afflicted with an equally enormous scarcity mentality, and boom! There goes your money! You just can't enjoy it, can't spend it, certainly can't share it, because there just isn't enough! And conversely, you can have a modest amount but feel like the richest person in the world, imbued with the ability to share that wealth with others.

It occurs to me that probably the factor that lies at the root of the two perspectives is faith vs. fear. The generous person has faith that s/he will continue to be blessed with sustenance from G-d's plentiful bounty and therefore s/he can afford to share. The stingy person has fear that s/he will be left without enough for even the basic necessities; or that if they give to one or two people, a hundred more will come knocking and there goes the entire bank account.

I have found faith v. fear the most long-running case in my mental Supreme Court--about 31 years and counting, and it promises to be a spectacular showdown. Thing is, I'm not sure who's the prosecution and who's the defense. All I know is that seeing the generosity of our Shabbos guests gives me a wealth of food for thought to chomp on.



 


Comments

Naomi Goldberg link
07/01/2009 10:27

Very inisightful!
I sometimes think that it's a personality as well-- some people have an easier time with trust issues, feeling optimistic, etc.

Reply
Leah
07/06/2009 20:35

Very true! I think sometimes it can also be not just fear that keeps people from giving, but also indecision- they can never feel confident that spending it on this beggar is the right choice- what if someone needier comes along next, or their kid needs something...not fear, but uncertainty and doubt. You can disagree, I just think there's a distinction between them.

Reply
Riva link
07/12/2009 00:58

Naomi--I completely agree with you--it's nature + nurture, but the fact is that people can change and transcend their issues; that's the good news!

Leah--Totally. Uncertainty and doubt definitely abound and these don't necessarily signify an underlying fear, just, well, uncertainty and doubt. But then again, you could say what lies at the root of this uncertainty and doubt? Like why can't these people say, "Okay, so I'll give a little now and then when the next, more worthy poor person comes along, I'll give a second amount"? You know what I mean? It's about mentality, I think. Either you feel like you have enough to give away, or you feel like you have so precious little that you need to guard it with iron fists. Just my opinion...

Reply



Leave a Reply