Not like Hamas is shooting rockets a dozen or so kilometres from my home...

I couldn't sleep last night. It was a combination of things, really; namely CNN, BBC, Jerusalem Post, and Arutz Sheva. But the overriding reason I just couldn't conscience sleeping was thinking of all those people whose sleep will be disrupted multiple times throughout the night by Code Red alarms. People in Sderot, who haven't slept a decent sleep in years. Now people in Ashkelon, in Ashdod, in Netivot, in Ofakim, and in Be'er Sheva where they're gearing up for missiles.

How can I curl up in my warm, cozy bed thinking of my fellow Jews sleeping in their miklatim (bomb shelters), not knowing if the next rocket to hit will be, G-d forbid, in their home?

What is happening in the world and in Israel defies all logic and reason. That's the good news and the bad news. It's good news because it means that Hashem Himself is behind maneuvering this illogical (to us) logic. The "bad" news is that it hurts. Real bad. To see the news stories that show pathetic children, dripping blood, but not a single image of all the trauma and shock victims of rocket attacks is just searingly, flamingly evil. But there's a halacha (law) that "Eisav sonei es Yaakov" (Esau hates Jacob), and we can grin and bear it so long as we're grounded in the reality that God chose Yaakov as His People and loves us infinitely. I'm crazy about my kids; imagine how much God loves us, His children. That thought helps mitigate even the worst of BBC.

When I lived in the United States and Canada we always were told to daven for Eretz Yisrael and I DID feel bad for "those Jews far-off in Israel". I did. But it just isn't the same when you're up close.

I think on some level we're all feeling Moshiach . It's a scary thing and it's a beautiful thing. The fear is always hovering over our heads and now that fear isn't only a Made in Israel entity. Americans are also feeling it. The economy is scary. The surging anti-semitism is scary. The Madoff scandal is scary. The anti-Israel protests are scary.

The only right thing to do with fear is to act productively on it. Right now I'm trying to divine what exactly that means--for me. Certainly increased tefillah, chessed (acts of lovingkindness), and achdus (Jewish unity) come to mind. But there's also a part of me that feels an urge to stock up on a month's worth of groceries and supplies. Just in case...

Please, Hashem. Geulah (Redemption) would be nice right around now.

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