The Nine Days are, for me, depressing, introspective, and frightening. I can almost feel a gasp of relief when Shabbos Nachamu comes; it is like a pent-up emotion, suddenly released, that I was only half-aware was there.

The news headlines don't really help much. With every story I read it is so clear how Hashem is tightening the vise of galus, trying to make us give up and turn to Him so He can finally redeem us. "Oh--the economic crisis wasn't enough for you? Iran's nuclear threat didn't do it? Okay, how about really serious anti-Semitism? No good? Okay, how about rabbonim being arrested so that the whole world will look askance upon Orthodox Jews. Does that hurt? Are you crying "uncle" yet?! No? Okay, how about in-fighting, Jew against Jew--even religious Jew against religious Jew, as in the case of the riots in Yerushalayim over the Hadassah case?" The noose of galus is pulled tighter and tighter, words like "another Holocaust" are bandied around with eery nonchalance.

Aside from the roiling cauldron of fear that dances and grows inside my heart, there's another emotion--I guess I could best describe it as somber self-introspection. It's the voice inside me that says, "You? What a joke! You're not doing enough! What are YOU doing to better your avodas Hashem? How do you ever expect Geulah if you don't get off your seat and start working some more spirituality into your life? What's with the lack of davening? What's with the lashon hara? What about being a good mother and wife? What about exalting Torah properly? How about tznius?!"

What about...what about..what about...ad infinitum. The accusatory finger wags and points and comes up with some pretty startling, downright shameful evidence. Woof.

So I rambled about it to my husband last night, railed against my horrible, less-than self, told him how far I feel and how there's no way that my actions are possibly bringing Geulah any time soon. And my husband--ever so wise!--pointed out something that I believe falls under the category of einfald (genius thought). I have to double-check with him about the source for this idea, but I will reveal it to you now, dear reader, in all its shining simple complexity, in the hopes that perhaps you, too, can benefit from its beauty. He said, "When you tell yourself you're a nothing, you're not very likely to be able to improve. When you tell yourself, instead, 'I am destined for greatness!', you're automatically on different footing. Surely, a person destined for greatness ought to be able to fit in a few small behavior changes each day, working toward a higher Self!"

That's it, folks. For today, I am a person destined for greatness, and all joking aside, it's true--simply because my soul is an immortal piece of G-dliness with magnificent, unlimited qualities. I think I will try to climb out of the doldrums of self-doubt and instead, do something constructive--like mumble a little tefillah. I mean, people destined for greatness do mumble tefillos, don't they?

How do YOU deal with the Nine Days and current world events?
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Walkie Talkie 07/23/2009
 

In one of my millions of jobs, I write book descriptions for Feldheim Publishers' website, www.feldheim.com, which is neat because I get to review all new books that come through their doors. Well, this week I got my hands on a book that I think will create quite a revolution in the Jewish world, a book published by Targum Press (distributed by Feldheim) called 6 diaries. This is the brutally honest, unfiltered compilation of the weekly diaries of six teenagers recording their shifting thoughts on tznius, modesty. They come from different backgrounds, have different personalities, and the only thing they have in common is a willingness to explore this oft-confounding and complex topic.

What struck me about this book is that it holds the potential to be more powerful than others that essentially deal with the same topic, even though it is written by young adults with no "rebbetzin" experience or deep wellsprings of knowledge and life's work to back them up. Instead, the pull lies in the glimpsing of the power of example. It's about girls telling their honest stories of personal struggle and growth, which the reader can then muse over, extrapolate from, and perhaps use as a jumping-off point to change as well. It's different than an authoritative book on the subject, where a renowned educator or lecturer offers spell-binding insight, quoting from myriad Torah sources, and presents a compelling picture of why we should move toward greater modesty. Of course, this second kind of book is eminently valuable and very uplifting. But there's something so visceral, so poignant, about seeing a work in progress like 6 diaries embodies, that unashamedly attests to--just that. There's no preaching, no guilt, or impossible pedestals to gaze up at helplessly.

The concept of teaching by example is one that I think about often. It's a "walk the walk and talk the talk", bone-deep construct that inspires others to do what they never could have been moved to do in any other way.

I wonder: what power of example do I set? What power of example do you set?

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Coming Clean 07/20/2009
 

If I had a quarter for everyone who asks me: "How do you find the time to write so much?" I'd be one rich little girl. Filthy rich, actually, because my standard response is, "I write during the times that most people are probably cleaning their houses." Gulp. Well, today I forayed into exactly that Windex-perfumed world, kicking and screaming, in the interest of impressing my wonderful mother who is coming tomorrow. (Vague snippets of teenage memories bounce around my head as I grab the mop, a dozen years later..."Riva--clean your room!" "How do you find anything in this pig-sty?!" Betcha can't relate.)

For the greater good, I am willing to sacrifice my private, inner thoughts on this experience, by offering them up on the altar of public bloggitude. I'm sure you will all be that much more enriched. Here are some thoughts on housecleaning:

1. It's actually really enjoyable.
2. Bleach makes me dizzy.
3. Never knew the laundry room could look so darn good!
4. It's addictive. Now that the sink's sparkling, before I know it, I'm attacking the bathtub!
5. It takes a long, long time.
6. Especially in places where age-challenged homo sapiens tread (read: young children, but politically correct is all the rage these days!), my handiwork lasts nanoseconds.
7. I could do this more often.

Do you like to clean? More importantly, how do you find the time?

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Let's Face It 07/12/2009
 

Well, I finally did it--bit the bullet, took the plunge, grabbed the bull by its horns, hmmm, let's see, can I possibly dig up any other cliched maxims to further augment the absolutely trivial announcement I'm about to make?

:-)

I joined Facebook. Ugh, I feel like I should be getting teen acne now, and braces. Truth is, I did it for a higher purpose rathyer than banal social networking; did it to facilitate the Green Fences Facebook Group, a new discussion board for the book, which I'm really excited about. But here we are, a couple of weeks later, and I'm being "friended" out to the whazoo with friends near and dear, as well as those I haven't spoken to in years. And I'm beginning to see that Facebook is probably a wonderful tie-in with last week's blogpost entitled There's a Monster In My Closet. I mean, this thing has all the potential of an ENORMOUS time-waster, with the added perk that one may staunchly justify the waste of time by citing all sorts of lofty benefits: socializing, reaching out, even "doing a chessed" (kind deed) by replying to poor Sara'le's post.

Sara'le Spiegel Shapiro has a broken fingernail.
       Dina Dunner: OMG, can u please do something FAST!
       Henny Shnitzeldorf: Happens all the time. Put on ice. BTW, are we getting together for lunch today or is it off cuz of the nail thing?
    Sara'le Spiegel Shapiro has now joined the Broken Fingernail Support Network
    Send [heart] to Sara'le!
    Poke Sara'le for being such a baby.

Anyway, enough poking fun at Facebook (have I just violated their Terms of Use Agreement ?). It's definitely a really cool tool for keeping in touch and it boasts a genius algorithm for matching potential "friends". I, for one, hope not to get sucked in; got too much going on in my little ol' life to add another time-eater. BUT, at least let me share with you the link for the new Green Fences Facebook Group where I'll be posting often and hopefully we'll have some fun with that!

It's here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=104085054867&ref=mf.

Anyone can join and I'd love to meet you there!


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Growl, roar, there's a nasty monster loose in my life, running around, ferociously resisting all attempts at being tamed. Every day I try anew, and every day it runs circles around me, lashing out with merciless claws, leaving carnage, havoc, and destruction behind. I've consulted with exterminators, monster-tamers, and PETA, and no one seems to be able to help.

This monster isn't carnivore or herbivore; it's a timeivore, it eats precious minutes, gobbles golden hours, consumes large chunks of days. It's on the F.B.I.'s Most Wanted List for all manners of horrible, blood-curdling offenses, including Chronic Procrastination with Intent to Cause Bodily, Emotional, and Financial Harm, Assault on Living Life Fully, and Break-and-Entry With a Deadly Weapon (a .45 Time-Blaster has been linked directly, through DNA testing, to this monster at-large). It has a long history of assuming new identities, has been known to masquerade under such aliases as Internet Browsing, Talking Endlessly On The Phone, and Finding Anything To Do Around the House Other Than What I Am Supposed to be Doing, etc.

Anyone with information on how to capture, rehabilitate, or eliminate this beast is asked to call the tip hotline. Except that we might be too busy procrastinating to answer your call, in which case leave a message and we'll get back to you after we finish getting loads of neglected work done.

3 Comments
 
A Sad Thought 07/04/2009
 

While I'm pretty transparent in my writing, I do try to protect my spouse and children from my penetrating pen, preferring to respect their privacy on some level. But tonight, my friends, you are about to be treated to a bit of inside information on...my wonderful husband, Joel. You may want to sit down for this :-)!

Joel is an all-around great guy, thank G-d, and he has a great sense of humor, which ranges from the truly witty to the hilariously funny to the downright goofy. So tonight, I was in the back of the house when I heard him come in from taking down the garbage (Told you he's a great guy!). My--er, our (if hubby's in this post, albeit unwittingly, I guess at the very least he deserves joint billing) daughter was in the kitchen and Joel comes in the house in an obviously playful, comical mood and snarls, "Where's Mommy?"

"I dunno." She has long learned to ignore our antics, bless her.

"Whadooyoomean you don't know?" he says mock-menacingly. "Where is she? Answer me right now!"

Maybe she cracked a smile, out of pure politeness. Overhearing this exchange, I'm smiling, picturing Joel's "mean face" which he, no doubt, has donned for this theatrical presentation.

But then my smile faded, hence the mournful title of this post. The fact is, there are many, many, far too many people whose spouses come in the house with menacing, snarling, angry tones. And they are not joking. And the husband or wife who is the target of this chilling wrath is in the back of the house, shrinking tinier and tinier into a horrible existence where every moment explodes with tension and the weather is forever cloudy and gray. The stress must be unbearable. I know people who live with this. My heart breaks for them. Does yours?

4 Comments
 
Gotta book! 07/03/2009
 

Well, it's official--the Green Fences book is out and available in stores and on the Targum website. See it on the Targum Press homepage at www.targum.com or go directly to this link: http://www.targum.com/product.php/938/green-fences/ where you can even read an excerpt. I am so excited! The book has new, juicy material--Ruth's private diary, which gives another dimension to the story that was not revealed in the Mishpacha serial.

And now...for the million-dollar question: What did YOU think of the ending?



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